Throughout my career I have worked with many women who have either not been taught to access their inner strength, being raised in the spirit of submission or outdated beliefs, or they have begun to give up that personal strength to better meet the expectations of those around and to correspond to the role that has been assigned to them.
We often think that we have to be in a certain way or that we have to do certain things in order to be liked and accepted by others - we give up our authenticity and we end up being and behaving according to the needs and demands of those around us. Even if we have certain unique qualities that make us stand out, we keep them hidden in order to not break the pattern, not disturb others, not be “different” than what people expect from us.
Many women are still afraid to stand out, to make their voices heard, to make decisions by putting themselves first because beliefs like "the man is the head and the woman the neck", "the woman keeps the family together", have been instilled into them, in general, beliefs that put the woman in second place, which make her believe that she has to sacrifice herself or give up her dreams for other people’s sake. But a woman who has assumed her inner strength knows that she is as important as the man by her side, she knows that she is valuable even if she doesn’t have a man by her side (because often women value themselves through the role of wife or mother) and knows that her desires and dreams matter as much as those of others.
A strong woman takes responsibility for her life and doesn’t wait to be saved or "awakened" by an enchanted prince. She wakes up by herself and begins to make a life plan, to give a direction to her own destiny, in accordance with her desires and aspirations.
She assumes both her shadows and her light and constantly seeks to evolve, to heal her past wounds in order not to recreate them, to face her fears, to transform her limiting beliefs that held her back until now.
She ask herself what femininity means to her, whether or not the roles assigned by others resonate with her way of being, whether it limits her or not, and then she makes the necessary changes to live her life in accordance with her own inner truth, not with the expectations of those around her.
A strong woman assumes her creative power and knows that the way her life looks depends on her, because she is the one who determines who she is and what she wants to create in this world, to leave behind. She doesn’t allow others to dictate the course of her own future, to tell her what she should feel, think or do.
She knows to say "no", to draw personal limits and boundaries of interaction and she surrounds herself with people who enhance that inner power, not who pull her down and try to destroy her self-esteem and self-confidence.
She values her interests and passions and seeks to integrate them as much as possible in her life – in order to know what you like, what you dislike, what brings you joy, what helps you grow or what simply makes you feel good, it’s necessary to allow yourself to explore as much as possible, to try new things, to experience without fear or constraints what life has to offer you.
A strong woman tries to develop her autonomy and independence, to harness her abilities and potential, to push her limits and encourages other women to do the same - she is not afraid of them, she doesn’t feel threatened by them and nor does she envy them because she knows that envy comes from a lack of self-esteem, from the feeling that you are not good or valuable enough.
A strong woman assumes and embraces her sexuality and doesn’t see it as something shameful or taboo.
She listens to her inner voice and intuition and she is in touch with her senses - she notices what makes her feel small, closed-off, tense and what makes her feel free, open and excited and doesn’t compromise for the sake of others to her own detriment. .
Every woman has within all the resources to transform her life, to make the changes she wants. There are no "weak" women, there are only women who still have to work with themselves to free themselves from dysfunctional or limiting beliefs, harmful patterns of thinking or behavior, toxic influences.
Use your inner strength!
Dr. Ursula Sandner