Fatalistic resignation and the victim mentality

.O. © funkeldink

We often hear around us people who do nothing but complain to anyone who wants to listen to them, how hard life is, how bad they are doing and how they are wronged by their fate or other people (bosses, colleagues, parents, life partners etc.). They have assumed so well the role of a helpless victim who just seeks to be listened to and to be approved in her suffering that any advice or intent to make them overcome their current situation is taken as an affront, as an attack to their status quo so well-designed. Or, not feeling understood or validated in their suffering, they will begin to have resentment towards you.

The world is a place full of suffering, people are bad, there is no hope for the better, and things can’t be changed, because, isn’t it, "you can’t change the world". Those examples of people who have succeeded in life, those who have changed the course of history, or those who can be models for their life vision are "disqualified" either by saying that they have been “lucky” or they have achieved what they have in dishonest ways or discrediting others. Actually, they even try to find the faults and minuses of successful people and this only to feel better about themselves. This mentality doesn’t encourage personal evolution. Is like we strive to throw obstacles in others’ way, those persons who try to stand out. When we are not doing well, we are more than happy to apply the saying "If I go down, I’ll take you with me".

These people choose to live their lives resigned, and the lack of positive expectations makes them feel frustration, anger, depression, and they will not miss a moment when they can harass, hurt others or revolt.

Blocking horizons, giving up the desire for the better and the "fight" to move on in life to fulfill your dreams is the opposite of the normal flow of existence. Any living organism on the planet seeks to grow permanently until it reaches its own potential.

But a person who has resigned and who tries to convince himself  that he is a helpless victim in such a "bad" world, only shows a form of laziness or commodity. It’s much easier to say that the grapes are sour than to strive to reach them. It's much easier to talk bad about  those who eat those grapes than to get up off the couch and do something with your life.

You give up your power, you don’t want anything but eventually to cling to the little you have, you stopped dreaming and fighting for your dreams, and instead you fill yourself with negative thoughts and feelings - towards yourself (but not always you want to acknowledge that), towards others (especially towards those who work hard to achieve their dreams) and towards life as a whole (because isn’t it, "life is an ordeal and then you die").

A winner will never resign, will not settle for little, will not give up his dreams, no matter how many hardships he has gone through, regardless of his age, his physical or intellectual endowment, past trauma or obstacles.

You are the only one responsible for the quality of your life, and if your entire life moves around a job you hate, a partner who, best case scenario, you tolerate each other, but there is no respect and affection, if you spend your free time in front of the TV commenting or criticizing social, political or sporting events, don’t be surprised that you feel like a captive victim in your own life. What would be good for you to realize is that you have created all the premises to end up in this situation, and this means that you are the one who can choose anytime something else.

If you want to do something with your life, the first step is the most difficult because it involves giving up the comfort that the helpless victim status gives you. The second step is to overcome your resignation to your fate, to let yourself dream and make a plan to fulfill your dreams. And then the decisive step follows, when you start to act - from theory to practice.

You can change your life from this very moment, but you have to want this with all your being. You could definitely do it, but it’s necessary to want it.

I wish you to have willpower and the best of luck!

Dr. Ursula Sandner

P.S. Leave me a comment and tell me how you act to change your life.

Photo .O. © funkeldink

 

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